... is near!
I'm leaving Cracow on Monday and it seems almost unreal to me. The good kind of unreal! I can't believe this nightmare is going to be over in just a few days. This week has been nothing but pain and suffering - bladder inflammation struck again, along with additional health problems, headaches, muscle cramps and more :( I've been living on various meds and painkillers since the last Sunday and my abdomen still hurts as I'm typing this. Skipping any of my exams wasn't an option, so I didn't have a proper opportunity to heal. I hope the pain goes away in the next few days because I'm going to lose my effing mind otherwise... Living and studying in Cracow has wrecked my health very badly. I'm pretty certain I wouldn't survive another year in this place!
I remember how scared I was when I moved here 5 years ago 'cos I always knew that big cities weren't for me. The reality, however, has proven to be even worse than the fears. Admittedly, I was kind of excited after the first few months: I learned to navigate without getting lost and there were so many new, undiscovered things awaiting. After a year or so it became clear to me that I wasn't going to enjoy being here, that the disadvantages outweighed the advantages. It didn't take long until I was completely disillusioned and couldn't find a single good side of this hasty, stressful lifestyle. It's safe to say that for the past several years I've been mostly waiting to get the heck out of this city. Words can't describe how grateful I am that the wait is almost finished.
I've recently bumped into an article about negative effects of having no leisure, or the inability to devote your attention to your hobbies and passions. The statements in the article hardly surprised me as I've been experiencing those effects on my own for a very long time D: I did like my studies, but they were absorbing my time and energy like a sponge. Drawing was one of the few pleasures I had here - the fact I couldn't find enough time for that single activity has caused a lot of emotional damage. I require a lot of time to draw because I do it very slowly, one sketch can take me up to 1,5 hours to complete. Sometimes more! I don't have enough practice and I erase a lot. This may sound far-fetched, but I really need drawing to maintain my mental stability. I need to draw angry or upset characters, this is how I deal with anxiety and let go of bad feelings. Without this, all that negativity and frustration gets stuck inside my mind.
I was going to post a list of things I hated about Cracow, but I won't do it now because my bladder is killing me ;__; Maybe another time. I'm going to take a nap and then I'll finish this post with some old, crappy doodles.
Okay, I'm feeling better now!
A while ago I was going through one of my folders and found a handful of scribbles that have never been uploaded anywhere online. There are various reasons why they didn't make it out of that folder. Sometimes I had no time to finish them, sometimes I didn't like them enough to do anything with them, sometimes they came in two versions and ended up being rejected. I'm going to dump them here now because I want to revive this blog's original purpose a bit! They're exclusives, which means I won't post them on any other site, including my Flickr.
(Not sure why, but I remember I hated this when I scanned it!)
I'm leaving Cracow on Monday and it seems almost unreal to me. The good kind of unreal! I can't believe this nightmare is going to be over in just a few days. This week has been nothing but pain and suffering - bladder inflammation struck again, along with additional health problems, headaches, muscle cramps and more :( I've been living on various meds and painkillers since the last Sunday and my abdomen still hurts as I'm typing this. Skipping any of my exams wasn't an option, so I didn't have a proper opportunity to heal. I hope the pain goes away in the next few days because I'm going to lose my effing mind otherwise... Living and studying in Cracow has wrecked my health very badly. I'm pretty certain I wouldn't survive another year in this place!
I remember how scared I was when I moved here 5 years ago 'cos I always knew that big cities weren't for me. The reality, however, has proven to be even worse than the fears. Admittedly, I was kind of excited after the first few months: I learned to navigate without getting lost and there were so many new, undiscovered things awaiting. After a year or so it became clear to me that I wasn't going to enjoy being here, that the disadvantages outweighed the advantages. It didn't take long until I was completely disillusioned and couldn't find a single good side of this hasty, stressful lifestyle. It's safe to say that for the past several years I've been mostly waiting to get the heck out of this city. Words can't describe how grateful I am that the wait is almost finished.
I've recently bumped into an article about negative effects of having no leisure, or the inability to devote your attention to your hobbies and passions. The statements in the article hardly surprised me as I've been experiencing those effects on my own for a very long time D: I did like my studies, but they were absorbing my time and energy like a sponge. Drawing was one of the few pleasures I had here - the fact I couldn't find enough time for that single activity has caused a lot of emotional damage. I require a lot of time to draw because I do it very slowly, one sketch can take me up to 1,5 hours to complete. Sometimes more! I don't have enough practice and I erase a lot. This may sound far-fetched, but I really need drawing to maintain my mental stability. I need to draw angry or upset characters, this is how I deal with anxiety and let go of bad feelings. Without this, all that negativity and frustration gets stuck inside my mind.
I was going to post a list of things I hated about Cracow, but I won't do it now because my bladder is killing me ;__; Maybe another time. I'm going to take a nap and then I'll finish this post with some old, crappy doodles.
*
Okay, I'm feeling better now!
A while ago I was going through one of my folders and found a handful of scribbles that have never been uploaded anywhere online. There are various reasons why they didn't make it out of that folder. Sometimes I had no time to finish them, sometimes I didn't like them enough to do anything with them, sometimes they came in two versions and ended up being rejected. I'm going to dump them here now because I want to revive this blog's original purpose a bit! They're exclusives, which means I won't post them on any other site, including my Flickr.
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| August 2014 |
(Not sure why, but I remember I hated this when I scanned it!)
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| August 2014 |
Boatswain pulling a rope out of a hole. I have no idea why this exists, haha.
Bibi. I miss my guinea pigs so much... I don't know when it will be possible, but I certainly want to have piggies again in the future. I think they're the only pets that are fully "compatible" with my personality and lifestyle. I grew up with them!
There was captain holding a Creeper on the left! I had to cut them out because they were so hideous, haha. I really loved Minecraft back in 2014. Then attempted to play multiplayer and quickly realised it was a big mistake. I'm not a fan of multiplayer modes - not sure if this is a general phenomenon or just my bad luck, but most online gamers seem mean and rude to me. Especially in games with a younger player base, GTA Online is hell. Red Dead Redemption had such a fun multiplayer and I genuinely enjoyed it, too bad hackers annihilated it D:
Based on real events! Swans are NASTY. I got bit by one, didn't hurt but it was scary!
(Some more boatswains)
Cappin's face looks very wonky but other than that it's not too bad..!
This was my attempt to draw Dimka before I got her. Looks nothing like her, haha.
Many years ago, one of dA friends told me that admiral reminded her of a bear. Well!
This, my dear audience, is supposed to be a gaucho.
Hahaha, oh my gosh, that was one of the first Taffies I've ever drawn. She looks like a sack of rice! What is up with her front paws?
I still like this one even though the eyes look odd! Steve has stolen cookies from the wrong jar!
(I think we can all relate to this!)
Still fond of this doodle too, haha.
That's a second version of a commission for Felix Looney, I rejected it because I thought the expression was a bit boring.
A Skunktember doodle I never posted anywhere since it's so weird! What is he looking at? Why is he skiing?! I have NO idea.
Ugly Taffies galore. Here are some of the "outfits" she wears. (I like that babushka)
Quick, crappy sketches of admiral - I wanted to make a model sheet for him and tried to figure out what I wanted to include. Of course the model sheet never happened because I didn't have the time to draw it ;__; I've been planning on making model sheets for all of my characters for about 2 or 3 years, ehhh... These will be drawn at some point, I just don't know when. I still really want to make them!
Last one. This was meant to be a surprise badge for Tinka - I know he collects badges and he's always been such a kind, patient customer, so I wanted to give it to him as thanks. I like it, but I couldn't find enough time to finish it :( Tons of my drawings share this fate.
I'm slowly developing a headache, so I'd better get away from my laptop! Thank you for reading!
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| November 2014 |
Bibi. I miss my guinea pigs so much... I don't know when it will be possible, but I certainly want to have piggies again in the future. I think they're the only pets that are fully "compatible" with my personality and lifestyle. I grew up with them!
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| November 2014 |
There was captain holding a Creeper on the left! I had to cut them out because they were so hideous, haha. I really loved Minecraft back in 2014. Then attempted to play multiplayer and quickly realised it was a big mistake. I'm not a fan of multiplayer modes - not sure if this is a general phenomenon or just my bad luck, but most online gamers seem mean and rude to me. Especially in games with a younger player base, GTA Online is hell. Red Dead Redemption had such a fun multiplayer and I genuinely enjoyed it, too bad hackers annihilated it D:
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| March 2015 |
Based on real events! Swans are NASTY. I got bit by one, didn't hurt but it was scary!
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| March 2015 |
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| March 2015 |
(Some more boatswains)
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| July 2015 |
Cappin's face looks very wonky but other than that it's not too bad..!
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| December 2015 |
This was my attempt to draw Dimka before I got her. Looks nothing like her, haha.
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| February 2017 |
Many years ago, one of dA friends told me that admiral reminded her of a bear. Well!
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| February 2017 |
This, my dear audience, is supposed to be a gaucho.
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| February 2017 |
Hahaha, oh my gosh, that was one of the first Taffies I've ever drawn. She looks like a sack of rice! What is up with her front paws?
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| February 2017 |
I still like this one even though the eyes look odd! Steve has stolen cookies from the wrong jar!
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| June 2017 |
(I think we can all relate to this!)
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| July 2017 |
Still fond of this doodle too, haha.
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| August 2017 |
That's a second version of a commission for Felix Looney, I rejected it because I thought the expression was a bit boring.
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| September 2017 |
A Skunktember doodle I never posted anywhere since it's so weird! What is he looking at? Why is he skiing?! I have NO idea.
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| November 2017 |
Ugly Taffies galore. Here are some of the "outfits" she wears. (I like that babushka)
 | |
| November 2017 |
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| November 2017 |
Quick, crappy sketches of admiral - I wanted to make a model sheet for him and tried to figure out what I wanted to include. Of course the model sheet never happened because I didn't have the time to draw it ;__; I've been planning on making model sheets for all of my characters for about 2 or 3 years, ehhh... These will be drawn at some point, I just don't know when. I still really want to make them!
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| March 2018 |
Last one. This was meant to be a surprise badge for Tinka - I know he collects badges and he's always been such a kind, patient customer, so I wanted to give it to him as thanks. I like it, but I couldn't find enough time to finish it :( Tons of my drawings share this fate.
*
I'm slowly developing a headache, so I'd better get away from my laptop! Thank you for reading!
Francissss! I'm so sorry it took me so long to leave a comment - I actually read this blog entry a day or two after you first posted it, but I haven't had much time to be on the internet lately. I'm so proud of you for sticking with your studies. I know it wasn't easy for you at times! Hopefully you've had a chance to unwind since leaving the city (Lord knows you deserve it).
ReplyDeleteHoly smokes, I can't begin to tell you how much seeing all these drawings lifted my spirits <3 So many Admirals and Taffies :D Ahhh, gardening Admiral is probably my absolute favourite, but I'm also quite fond of babushka Taffy and bear Admiral. His proportions do remind me a bit of a bear, so it fits! I love the way you drew those flappy lips <3
That skiing skunk is wonderful too!! Oh man, I adore how you drew the mittens and folds of the sweater. Nobody draws skunks better than you. Nobody!
Did you at least share that sketch of Tinka? :O I bet they would love it! His tail looks so luxurious and soft... I wish I could stroke it ;___;
I'm sorry about this pathetic excuse for a comment, ahh D: It isn't much, but I wanted to at least acknowledge all these lovely drawings. Please take care and enjoy the rest of your summer!
That's perfectly okay!! You never have to comment on my posts, I know you read them :) I'm sorry I didn't reply to you earlier, this was the first time Blogger didn't notify me that I received feedback & things have been pretty hectic on my part! I went on family vacation right after leaving Cracow, the change of environment certainly helped me to brush off some of the negative experiences form this academic year. Thank you!
DeleteI'm glad I was able to make you a bit happier with those scribbles <3 I still have some stuff I haven't scanned yet, but my scanner driver remains broken after that ultra-crappy Windows update. Hopefully I'll be able to bring it back to life at some point!
Can't agree with that (your skunks rule!), but I definitely enjoy drawing skunks, they're so fun! Sometimes I even wish I had a skunk character, although I probably wouldn't know what to do with them D: I've already pretty much abandoned Glitch 'cos I have no ideas for him..!
No, but I might try to finish it one day or draw something else as a gift, thank you!!
Ohhh, please don't feel bad, I never expect any feedback from anyone! You've already spoiled me with your long, detailed comments - I don't want you to feel the need to write them every time. Even a single sentence is perfectly okay :) I know you care, thank you so much for your kindness & I wish all the best for you <3